- A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says:
Saala pura body headache maar raha hai
A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets, Do tho ticket dena, the person at the window tells him that there is a house full, so this Biharisays koi baat nahin do house full de do.
A Bihari went to New Delhi for the first time in his life. He went there during the time of Asiad and was zapped to see all these new stadiums, newly constructed roads, flyovers etc etc. The poor fellow hadn't seen all this ever before. So when he came back to Aligarh people asked him as to how did he like Delhi, he was too excited and said: yaar delhi to buhat top ka laga, pura delhi chamak chamak raha tha, sab kuch jagmaga raha tha, sab shine maar raha tha lekin yaar ek cheez hum understand nahin kar paye, yeh itta barka barka speed breaker kahe ko bana diya hai (he couldn't figure out what is a flyover).
A Bihari went to a cigarette shop and asked for one Wills: Bhai ek Will dena, so the guy selling the cigarettes told him that there is no brand by the name of Will, it is Wills, but the Bihari insisted and said I want one Will, so the person told him unless you say it correctly i.e Wills I won't sell it to you, so the Bihari went mad and said "Hum ek hi to maang rahen hain pura packet to nahin maang rahen hain".
This incident happened when i was in college. Two Biharis talking
to each other, " Aaj Mother teresa a rahen hai Kennedy Auditorium mein saam ko aap chalenge na , hum aap ko 5.30 p.m sharp pe lene aienge, so this fellow didn't know who is Mother Teresa and replied back, " nahin bhai aap hi chale jaiye hum Englis film nahin dekhte hain.
There was this Bihari who was travelling with two tickets, so when the T.T.E asked for the ticket, this fellow gave both the tickets, and so the T.T.E asked him the reason of buying two tickets, this fellow answered well what will happen if in case I lose one of them, so the T.T.E said what if you lose both of them, so this guy said then why do I have a monthly pass.
become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he
is down to earth he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and
resting his elbows on the back of the cattle. He poses for the photo.
Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.....
GUESS THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left."
family planning policy..
"Don't have more than two children in one year"
Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard
told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs"
and moved on...
a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's
left tells the bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese
Delegation for Business Development in Bihar. The Japanese Embassy was
quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent
state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower
Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inefficient,"
he stated "Give me
three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar."
Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas.
So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could you
tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...?"
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo
immediately replies "Thank you" and puts the phone down.