BOSS ?

Scene: It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow,
tippy-tapping on his typewriter.

Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit:"My thesis."
Fox:"Hmm. What is it about?"
Rabbit:"Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
(incredulous pause)
Fox:"That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!"
Rabbit:"Come with me and I'll show you!"
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, gnawing on a
fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf:" What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit:" I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
(loud guffaws)
Wolf:" you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit:" No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself,
after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit:" I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd!
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you" .
As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

Moral:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS WHAT MATTERS IS WHO YOU HAVE FOR A SUPERVISOR.

In the context of the working world:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU.

 

 

                             HARSH REALITY

Scene: It'a a fine sunny day in the forest, and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying
lazily in the sun.

Along comes a fox, out on a walk.
Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion:"Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
Fox:"Hmm. But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your great claws will only
destroy it even more"
Lion:"Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"
(incredulous pause)
Fox:"That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix
complicated watches"
Lion:"Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed".
The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the
watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion
continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.
Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"
Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"
(loud guffaws)
Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you?. There is
No way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV"
Lion:" No problem. Do you want to try it?"
The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The
wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene: Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent
looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments.
In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral:
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A SUPERVISOR IS FAMOUS LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS STUDENTS.

In the context of the working world:
IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

 

 

                        KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN

It was a very cold winter night! A sparrow had spent two nights out with only the meager shelter of

a tree. He decided that he couldn't survive a third night, so he left the tree to find a better shelter.

As he flew he got colder and colder, until his little wings froze solid and he fell to the ground.

As he lay there freezing he realised that his end was near and he prayed for death to come quickly.

Suddenly, in his semiconscious state, he had a feeling of being enveloped in a warm covering.

He regained consciousness to find that a friendly cow had dropped a luxurious deposit all over him.

The warmth gave him a new lease of life, and the sparrow's comfort made him feel very happy, so he

started to sing. A passing pussycat heard the chirrping, located the heap, carefully removed the

excrement to reveal the little sparrow, and promptly ate him up..........

 

There are three morals to this sad story :-

1. If someone shits on you, they are not necessarily your enemy.

2. If someone gets you out of the shit, they are not necessarily your friends.

3. If you are in the shit and happy - keep your mouth shut

 

To state the same facts in a polished manner:

1. If someone harms u unknowingly, they are not necessarily your enemy.

2. If someone tries to help you out, they are not necessarily your friends.

3. Even if you are not in very good condition but you are happy, keep your

   mouth shut(don't cry that I don't have this and that).

 

 

 

                   T H E   S E N S E  O F  T H E  G O O S E

In the fall when you see geese heading south for the winter flying along in the "V" formation, you might be interested

in knowing what science has discovered about why they fly that way.

It has been learned that as each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following it.

By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.

PEOPLE WHO ARE PART OF A TEAM AND SHARE A COMMON DIRECTION GET WHERE THEY ARE GOING QUICKER AND

EASIER, BECAUSE THEY ARE TRAVELING ON THE TRUST OF ONE ANOTHER.

 

Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go through it alone

and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the power of the flock.

IF WE HAVE AS MUCH SENSE AS A GOOSE, WE WILL SHARE INFORMATION WITH THOSE WHO ARE HEADED THE SAME WAY WE ARE GOING.

 

When the lead goose gets tired, he rotates back in the wing and another goose takes over.

IT PAYS TO SHARE LEADERSHIP AND TAKE TURNS DOING HARD JOBS.

 

The geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep their speed.

WORDS OF SUPPORT AND INSPIRATION HELP ENERGIZE THOSE ON THE FRONT LINE, HELPING THEM TO KEEP PACE

IN SPITE OF THE DAY-TO-DAY PRESSURES AND FATIGUE.

 

Finally, when a goose gets sick or is wounded by a gunshot and falls out, two geese fall out of the formation and

follow the injured one down to help and protect him. They stay with him until he is either able to fly or until

he is dead, and then they launch out with another formation to catch up with their group.

IF WE HAVE THE SENSE OF A GOOSE, WE WILL STAND BY EACH OTHER WHEN THINGS GET ROUGH.

 

The next time you see a formation of geese, remember... IT IS A REWARD, A CHALLENGE AND A PRIVILEGE TO BE A

CONTRIBUTING MEMBER OF A TEAM.

 

 

 

                   MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared,

jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

 

 

 

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE ===== BOSS ?


Part A:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree",

sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.

"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it

actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he managed to reach the second branch.

Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was.

promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey at the top of the tree.

Moral:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

 

Part B:

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss.

So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became

crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.

Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.